Goldieknots Montana
Creating Connections One Fleece at a Time
What the Future Holds… Finding Peace Beyond Insanity
The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting to get a different result.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard that quote. You think I would have understood it by now. Clearly, that hasn’t been the case… until very recently.
I’ve always been busy. I always say I don’t want to be. Then, after lightening my load, I’m busy again. This cycle of insanity has been repeated in my life for as long as I can remember. It ends today. And for those of you who have heard me say something like this before, please understand this time is VERY different.
Why, you ask? “Why is this time going to be any different than the past, Tammy?”
Here’s why, plain and simple…
Because for the first time in my life, I’m taking back the control I have over my life and I’m holding myself accountable and to a different standard than I ever have before. Because my life is too short to always be busy. And because my life is more than dollar signs. My life is more than the next-best-thing, and now more about the “next-real-thing.’
What brought all of this on? What made me finally see that I’ve been living the definition of insanity? Boy, these past months have provided more lessons in the realization than I can ever have imagined. But it wasn’t until this past weekend’s fiber festival that I truly understood what I was doing to myself.
It’s no secret I’m exhausted most of the time, even without the health issues I’ve been facing over the past year or so. I wake up pretty tired, push through my day, and fall into bed utterly worn out and sore from whatever my day’s activities have been.
I’ve been trying for so long to find my way and figure it out. I’ve also been trying to make a living and pay my bills. At the age of 56, this is not where I thought I would be in life. I’m sure part of that has to do with the idealistic version of the life I want to live. Other parts are due completely to my life choices and decisions over the years. I can look back at specific moments and think about other decisions I could have made and wallow in regret, but the truth of the matter is that I’m the only one responsible for those choices and wallowing in anything doesn’t do anyone, especially me in this case, any good.
The truth is, if I hadn’t made all those decisions, I wouldn’t be where I am now, or at least not at this time in my life. I’m very lucky to be able to work for myself doing something I’m truly passionate about. I’m also lucky enough to work for one of my favorite people to supplement my income during slow times in my business or when unexpected expenses arise.
So what is it that I want – now that I know I don’t want to be living the definition of insanity anymore?
I want slow, quiet, peaceful mornings at home, in my yard, my garden, with my animals, and my other half. I want time to do the things I love, and not just the things I need to do. Things like actually spinning my own yarn, riding horses, processing wool, and especially writing. I don’t want to have to “make time” for these things because they are the things that fill my soul and make me feel alive. I want to remember why I like to teach and inspire others and not just because it’s my chosen profession. I want to spend time with my sheep just sitting in the pasture with him (and the lambs) while I design knitting patterns – or – just knit something for myself. And when the warm summer turns to cooler weather, I want to enjoy the time in our cabin, curling up with a book, my knitting, my spinning, and my notebooks to write.
I want a less harried life and a much more meaningful one. I want to spend time with friends and family and not “work them into my schedule.” They should be the schedule that I work all the other things around. Because at the end of the day, what matters most are the people and experiences we create, remember, and hold on to.
The announcement in this blog and post may come as a surprise to many of you. The truth is, this has been on my mind for quite some time. Some of you close to me have heard me talk about it for at least the last two years. I guess 2026 is the time to start implementing that plan.
Now before you panic, no, I’m not quitting entirely. I’m forging a new direction. One that doesn’t require me to spend endless days working or being on the road, but instead lets me do what I love where it’s most meaningful to me.
For the next couple of years I’ll be shifting my focus. My focus for my business will be writing, teaching, and designing knitting patterns – truly, the parts of my business I love.
What this means is that I’ll be phasing out the live vending and retail side of my business. For now, I plan to continue my online website for purchases (look for a revamped website in the fall). I have one more show to vend at this year, along with the couple of local holiday shows in and around my little hometown. Next year, those three shows (Trailing of the Sheep, the Helmville Bazaar, and the Lincoln Christmas Bazaar) will be the only live shows I have a booth at, and depending on how things look, they may, or may not be shows I continue to pursue in the future.
I will continue teaching at festivals where I already have a relationship, and consider a couple of others. I’ll continue to apply to teach at Maryland Sheep and Wool because who wouldn’t be honored to teach at one of the most renowned festivals?!? If you know, you know 🙂
I’ll excitedly continue to work with my book coach and continue writing a book I believe will help many spinners and fiber artists, and yes Sylvia (you know who you are), I’m working on Oliver’s Mitten’s as well. I’ll be so excited when the books are finished and published, but they still need to be finished being written and one of them will also need illustrating.
I have three patterns still to release in 2026 (Yarn & Honey’s “Life is Sweeter Wrap” in September, Unicorn Fluff’s “Enchanted Huckleberry Forest” in October, and Lone Pine Wool Emporium’s “Lone Pine Poncho” in December). I also spoke with a couple of new folks at this past weekend’s Greycliff Fiber Festival about designing patterns for them for 2027.
I leave to teach a retreat at the Nome Schoolhouse the first week in August and then make my way to Allegan for the Michigan Fiber Festival. I’m excited about both and some windshield time to do some more thinking about the future without the insanity.
I’ve had a lot of reflection time, and honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever been more excited for the slower pace and what lies ahead. If you’ve been thinking (or even dreaming) of something more meaningful and slower, I invite you to take a little time for yourself and think about the things that are important to you, now, and in your future. You might surprise yourself with what you want and your own decisions to get there.
Today is Bittersweet…
Today is bittersweet…
While on one hand, it was one of the happiest days of my life, today is also marked with the knowing that wishing my daughter Happy Birthday will go nowhere. I’m going to choose to focus on the happiest remembrances of this day.
You see, on this day 33 years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My pregnancy with her had been a challenging one. I went into labor at 20 weeks. They stopped the contractions and three weeks later, I went into labor again. I was placed on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy (just about 3 months).
I was told (twice) I couldn’t have children. I proved them wrong the first time, so when they said I couldn’t get pregnant, and if I did I wouldn’t carry to full term, I didn’t believe them. Maybe they were right the second time. At any rate, I wouldn’t have traded the experience for anything in the world.
Jessalyn was born at about one in the afternoon on June 9, 1993 at the Naval Hospital at Camp Pendleton in California. She was absolutely beautiful, and from the first moment, and every moment thereafter, always had a mind of her own.
As she grew up, she sang, she danced, she played with dolls, trucks, and loved her stuffed animals. As she got older, her love for animals and singing grew.
Due to a divorce, Jessalyn and I moved to Montana where my dad gave me (and technically us) a new start. Lincoln was a tough place for a city girl like Jes who loved to sing, dance, and had her own unique style in everything she did. She was never the girl who was meant to fit in – she was always the one to stand out. While she had a few close friends, Lincoln was clearly not the place for this amazing soul. She made it through high school and then went back to what she loved. Philadelphia, the city, and her dad’s family. She went back to what was familiar to her and what felt right in her heart. I missed her like a limb, but raising our children to be happy, independent, follow their own dreams and ultimately, live their own lives, is what we as parents do.
Since she moved, there have been good times, bad times, ups, downs, highs and lows. If you’ve been following this blog, you already know the heartache I’ve experienced since the beginning of this year when she decided she no longer wanted to have contact with me.
It’s been a long six months without having a single conversations or saying or hearing the single phrase, “I Love You.” Six months of having no idea what’s going on in her life. How her new school adventure has been working out. How the dogs and cats are. How she is. How the new house is coming along. How her boyfriend is. What fun things she’s been up to. How her new job is going. It’s been six months of nothing.
And, while she may never see this, respond the the Happy Birthday text I sent early this morning, or even open the birthday card I sent, I hope somewhere in her heart she knows how much I love and miss her – and how much I care. I truly hope she has a wonderful birthday celebrating it in a way that continues to make her happy. I hope she has the most amazing year with so much love, luck, fortune, and the things she’s dreamed of.
If you know my daughter, please wish her the happiest of birthdays – not from me – from you. And if you happen to be celebrating a birthday today, too (like Jessalyn’s Grandma Linda or my friend Sandy), here’s wishing you the very happiest of birthdays and a year filled with all the things you love too!
The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of Growing in Between
How in the world have three months gone by since my last blog post?
I suppose the simple answer is life.
I also suppose the not-so-simple answer is the same, but with more detail.
Yes, life has this habit of happening all around us, whether we’re actively involved or not. Some things we’re ready for and can handle. Some, not so much. And others, well they shake you, rock you, and sometimes, they break you. When they do, the days seemingly pass by slowly in your mind, and then all of a sudden, at the speed of light, three months (or more) goes by.
The first quarter of this year did not go as I had planned. Some things went better than planned, and others were nothing I could have ever anticipated.
In full disclosure, this blog post will eventually get around to fiber, but as it does, there will be some pretty raw emotions that come out. The kind I’m so much better at writing about than saying aloud. My hope, as always, is that my words resonate with someone, and maybe help them through their own raw or difficult time. Whether the situations are similar or not doesn’t matter, sometimes the words just have a way of consoling, relating, or providing understanding.
To get you to now, let’s go back to the things that have kept me quiet, searching for why, and moving past what hurts…
After more than a year of battling exhaustion, anemia, and health issues that I mostly kept to myself, family, and some close friends, 2025 ended and 2026 began with lots of appointments with different physicians.
- January 2nd: After a visit with a specialist in December, I received my first iron infusion.
- January 6th: I had an endoscopy to determine if there were abnormalities or internal bleeding that were causing the extremely low red blood cell counts and low iron store levels in my body. (Spoiler alert, I had 4 bleeding ulcers that had likely been there for a very long time – so yes, internal bleeding)
- January 9th: I received my second iron infusion.
- January 11th: A text from my daughter that changed everything. Because I didn’t agree with her opinion of world events at that time, she let out a barrage of hateful words that left me feeling like I had been smacked across the face. Then, her final words to my simple text that said “Enough Jes, just enough.” “Fine, you want enough? I’ve been thinking of going ‘no contact’ with you for a while now.” Although I explained that was not what I wanted and that it would be a decision she was making, she did, in fact cut all contact with me. Social media blocks, family location services removed, and then nothing but silence. Mind you 5 days prior we were thanking each other for our holiday gifts and exchanging ideas and recipes.
- January 23rd: A call from my son while I was visiting my mom in CA wanting to know what happened between me and his sister and his insistence that we work things out and that I needed to reach out to her. My reply was simple. No. Not because I was being stubborn, but because I love my daughter unconditionally, and even though everything that happened completely broke my heart, I loved and respected her enough to respect her decision, even if I didn’t understand it or agree with it. He hasn’t contacted me now for more than a month as I write this.
- January 27th: My birthday. Celebrated in CA with my mom and a close friend I have known since second grade. Hundreds of Happy Birthday wishes from Facebook and other online friends and some strangers, yet not a single wish from either of my children. My heart broke yet again.
In February, I had surgery on my wrist of my dominant hand.
In March I flew back to CA to surprise my mom (with the help of my aunt and uncle, my close friend, and two of my mom’s knitting guild friends) for her 80th birthday. We did indeed surprise her. It was wonderful!
At the end of March I also finished a huge project and submitted my book proposal draft to my book coach, which we’ll be reviewing and getting ready for actual submission later this month. This has been a whirlwind of an amazing experience that began in December. I’m excited, nervous, giddy, tired, and did I mention excited?
There were other things that happened in the first part of the year… a truck breakdown on the way to teaching a class (which has been rescheduled), festival teaching acceptances, collaboration on my felting kits, classes at Yarn & Honey in Great Falls, more writing, and some online classes for myself on business, gardening, and food preserving.
The second quarter of the year is off to a busy start with my show season starting in a couple of weeks, a revamp of my entire felting kit line, more writing (because a book doesn’t just write itself), and a slow quiet realization that despite the good and the heartbreaking, fiber has gotten me through most of it…
Spinning, because it relaxes my mind and helps me breathe while I listen to meditation music or positive and motivational podcasts (about knitting, a slow hand made life, intentional living, and navigating my way through the pain).
Knitting, because it allows me to be creative while designing patterns, two of which are complete and releasing soon. It also allows me to connect with other knitters and craft people at our local “Sip & Stitch” each week. And during the winters (even this mild one) in Montana, connecting with others is important.
Felting, which I have had to put back on hold after a fall that involved the hand I just had surgery on four weeks ago. Maybe it’s a reminder to just step back?
Processing raw fleeces, because it reminds me how much I love working with raw wool from a beautiful animal and making it become something more than that dirty, greasy wool. I’m currently working on Shadow’s fleece, Stormy’s Fleece, and back to Joplin’s fleece after some time away from them.
My fiber and regular life have become so busy again that I find myself re-evaluating everything once more. There is so much I want to do, several things I don’t really want to do anymore, things I’ve started and haven’t been able to, or just haven’t gotten back to (like a podcast that pulls at me each day to record something or updating my website).
If there is anything the first quarter of the year and fiber have, and are teaching me it’s this:
- Anything can happen in the blink of an eye.
- You can think everything is great – and then suddenly – it’s not.
- Life hurts sometimes, but it goes on.
- While not every situation is ideal, there are reasons for them and things to learn from them. Often, the things we learn (or re-learn) are that we aren’t in control of any of it.
- Dirty things can become beautiful with a little effort.
- Grieving those who are still alive is a very different kind of grief.
- Sometimes one step at a time (either forward, and sometimes backwards) are all we can manage – and that’s okay. Really, it is.
- And I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve been learning this year is to give myself a little grace while I stand firm in trusting myself with all that is tossed my way.
My life isn’t perfect, and I imagine yours isn’t either. So please, learn to give yourself a little grace too in this crazy time and world we’re living in. Learn to appreciate what you do have at this moment, and give yourself the freedom to grieve things, and maybe people no longer part of your every day life. And, quite possibly, more than anything, give yourself permission to look forward to, or maybe take a step back from things, and gain perspective in either direction.
If any of this resonated with you, please feel free to leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts and perspectives too!
~Tammy
All the Things That Matter
What a whirlwind of a few weeks.
I had a birthday, traveled to California to visit my mom, faced some health issues, dealt with family issues, and continued to work on a long term project. I applied to teach at some shows, received confirmation from some other shows, and put my knitwear design hat back on.
My birthday was quiet and wonderful and spent with my mom. We knitted, chatted, visited antique stores, and had one of the best visits we have had in quite some time. I’ll be traveling with her later in the year to Alaska on a cruise – a dream come true as Alaska is a place I love – and would love to see more of.
It looks like I’ll be dealing with some health stuff for a bit yet, but each day forward is closer to getting everything straightened out. I’ll be happy when it is.
Issues with my family, mostly my adult children, are what they are. I most definitely do not like this particular path. I’m hurt, I’m sad, and I wish things were different, but I also have to remember that they are adults. I don’t have to agree with the things they think, do, or believe, just as they have clearly pointed out, they don’t agree with me. I know that I love them unconditionally, and I respect them enough to have made the decisions they have made, even if it means I no longer have contact with one of them. I hope that changes in the future, but for now, like it or not, it is the way it is.
The long term project I’ve been working on is exciting, challenging, and a dream come true. For now, it’s still a secret. You know when you’re working on something big you’re a little afraid to jinx it by talking about it fully, out loud? That’s where I am. I can’t wait to share it with you when the time is right, but for now, I’ll continue working on it behind the scenes.
I swore I was going to slow things down a bit this year, but when two additional shows popped up, the least I can do is apply. It would mean traveling to two new places to teach. Fingers crossed!
I can confirm that as of now I’ll be teaching at the following locations and festivals:
Two Rivers Gallery in Big Timber, MT (February 24th)
Yarn & Honey in Great Falls (February, March, April, May, and June)
The Nome Schoolhouse in Nome, ND (May, August, and September)
Great Basin Fiber Arts Fair in Farmington, UT (April)
Estes Park Wool Market in Estes Park, CO (June)
Greycliff Fiber Festival in Greycliff, MT (July)
Michigan Fiber Festival in Allegan, MI (August)
Idaho Fiber Festival in Boise, ID (September)
Trailing of the Sheep Festival in Hailey, ID (October)
My knitwear design cap is on and I’m currently working on patterns to release this year for Ranching Tradition Fiber, Greycliff Wool Works, Stillwater Fibers, Yarn & Honey, Mule Train Alpacas, Row 1 Yarns, Lone Pine Wool Emporium, and Unicorn Fluff Designs, as well as two new Goldieknots patterns. So, when I’m not driving to festivals, teaching, or working on my project, you can expect to find knitting needles and yarn in my hands 🙂
52 Weeks of Sheep is moving along nicely and we’ll be having our own Spin-A-Long competition beginning February 21st. If you’re interested in joining in the fun, you can visit the “shop now” link register. You don’t even have to participate in the yardage competition. Just come along and spin with us virtually from wherever you are. We’ll be getting together via Zoom. The podcast resumed this year and a new episode releases each month about the breeds we’re covering – sometimes with a guest.
I know this all sounds like a lot. It is a lot. I used to complain with “all the things” I was doing. Probably because I was doing things for everyone else and not really for myself. What I’m finding now is while there are many things to complete, these are the important things to me. Spinning and connecting with people, teaching, designing patterns, my long-term project – they mean something, and they impact the fiber world around me.
Yes, 2026 is off and running. I’ll enjoy the good things, work on the hard things, and hope the really difficult things work themselves out, or provide me the opportunity to make them right where I can.
~Tammy
Choosing Not to Live an Unfinished Life
The above meme was meant to be funny, and it was. But, at the same time, really got me thinking… do I really want to have so many unfinished things (and I’m talking about more than just knitting here)
The answer came to me, not like a whoosh, but more like smacking my face into.a brick wall.
No!
No, I do not want to live an unfinished life. No!
Maybe you’re like me and can relate? Maybe you’re not there yet, or maybe you’re someone who is better at finishing things than I am. I won’t lie, I’m a little jealous of those of you who can start and finish things.
Me, I have grand ideas, begin them, and then my mind goes to the next grand, or not so grand, idea. Some people call this ADHD. Others may call it a lack of focus or determination, while many simply call it lazy. I like to think of it as a creative process, but after some reflecting, I tend to agree most with those who would call it lack of focus.
If you read the last blog post, you’ll remember that “focus” is one of the key words in my ‘phrase of the year’ for 2026. What better way to bring it into play than the realization that I don’t want to live an unfinished life.
You see, my unfinished projects are just a symptom. A symptom of thinking I can do it all. 2026 is already showing me signs that I can’t, nor should I. And that’s okay. 2026 is showing me, better yet, guiding me to finish my unfinished tasks and projects – or letting go of them if they are no longer important – and that’s okay too.
It’s okay to let go of the things in my life that no longer bring me happiness. It’s okay, instead, to finish the things that do. I can still be creative without having to do it all. I can notice a creative spark, write down the idea to give it life, and leave it for a bit while I complete the current creative spark.
Complete…
And in the honor of completing things, here are some projects that had been in the works. The scarves were only a couple of months old, while the bookmark was started in 2004. It felt good to no longer have that taunting me, and it feels better to have it marking the pages of a novel I purchased in November. Both are now bringing me great joy. I even finished a wreath I had the supplies to make for the last three years. This week I have two more fiber-related projects to complete, or should I say, that I can realistically complete – and that right there, inserting the word realistically is making me happy.
I have more projects to complete. I will continue to work on them – both fiber-related – and the rest of the unfinished things in my world.
If you have some unfinished projects, maybe 2026 is the year you can conquer some of them too. Feel free to join me in being focused and getting them done. Yes, let’s make this year a little different, and the year we stop living an unfinished life.
Happy New Year!
It’s a New Year…
First, let me wish you a wonderful, bright, and Happy New Year! I’m hoping your 2026 is everything you’re hoping for and more.
I personally love ringing in the new year (although I’m usually in bed by 10, and that’s pushing it). What I really mean is that I love the idea of a fresh new start. I enjoy looking back at the previous year and reflecting, then deciding what I want the new year ahead to look like for myself.
2025 brought a lot of miles on the truck, road trip adventures, new fiber friends, lots of classes, sightseeing in places I had never been before, more knitting pattern designs, writing, making more connections, nurturing connections previously made, and doing things out of my comfort zone and other things for the first time in my life.
2025 also taught me to listen more. To others, and especially myself. Amid all the busyness, it had me learning to remain calm and going with the flow more than I’ve ever done before.
So, on this first day of January, as I look back and reflect on 2025, I’m finding myself deeply grateful for the experiences, the connections, and the realizations that I want some things to be very different in 2026. Maybe you can relate?
I know that in speaking with others that 2025 was a weird, insanely busy, and difficult year. I know many of you are ready to usher it out with a swift, forceful kick to its backside. I get it.
But all of that makes me wonder what we can do in 2026 to make it a better year? Yes, I know some things are beyond our control, but there are many things within it. Our attitudes, planning, and intentions can make a big difference, not only in the way we move forward, not just in the way we look back, but in the way we handle the unexpected things thrown at us along the way.
One of the first things I like to do when welcoming a new year is to find a word, or words, to help guide me through the coming year. Some people call this their “word of the year.” It’s been this new sort of fad for the past several years. I appreciate that someone along the way came up with the idea and shared it with the world. I like to think of my word or words as a compass guiding me through the year while also giving me a touch point to come back to when times get difficult, frenzied, and out of control. I didn’t really do this process for 2025, and I feel like maybe, for me at least, it’s the reason the year felt wobbly, and unsteady, while leaving me feeling disconnected and unsure. Of course I had those “aha” moments too, but overall, it, or I, just felt off.
I decided I would start 2026 differently.
My process for choosing my word or words of the year goes something like this:
Go through some lists of positive words, or words that seem to be showing themselves to me a lot. Pinterest has some great “words of the year” lists. For me it involves printing some lists out and circling any word on the list that strikes me. Once I have my words circled, I grab my laptop, or a sheet of paper, and list all of the words I circled. I read it to myself before I go to bed for a night or two. Then I let my subconscious mind go to work while I sleep. I find if you listen, your mind and body often will tell you what you need, and for me, the word(s) of the year are no exception. After a day or so, I put my list in front of me and circle the 5 words that really resonate with me. I know it’s supposed to be one word, but I don’t follow all the “rules” when it comes to this. If all the words fit cohesively into a sentence, then they can all stay. If not, I whittle them down to what does. Sometimes it is just one word, others are like what happened for me this year. There were 4 words that I couldn’t let go of. It worked out to the phase below:
“In 2026, I will live happily and creatively with intention and focus.”
These words sum it up concisely while giving me direction and providing an anchor to come back to. I have many things planned and already in the works for 2026. So far, they all reflect my phrase of the year. Moving forward, if things come up and they don’t, that’s okay. I can jot down the thoughts or ideas in my journal, but they can’t be part of 2026 if they don’t bring me happiness, spark my creativity, don’t align with my intentions, or pull my focus away from what matters.
Yes, I’m looking forward to a fresh start and the coming year. I’m still doing a bit of reflecting on 2025. I made a lot of great friends and great memories. I, like many others, experienced loss and heartache for family, strangers, our country, and the world. But I’ll cling to great friends, fond memories, and various experiences as I quietly close the door to 2025 and open another to welcome 2026 – happily, creatively, intentionally, and with focus.
Happy New Year!
~Tammy
Getting Back to Basics: A Journey of Rediscovery
Originally published 8/18/2025…
I think most of us have the best intentions when we say we are going to do something. I also know there are those that get things done when they say they will, those who try, and others who just have so much going on that things eventually get done, just not always in the timeframe we we would often like. Depending on the day, week, month, I fall into one, or all of those categories. It’s not that I don’t care or respect deadlines. Often it’s just that I don’t know my own capacity and I take on too much making it absolutely impossible to do all the things I say – or even want to do.
For instance, I thought I would have a blog post from the road during my trip to Michigan for the Michigan Fiber Festival. I wrote, I contemplated, and the words would not come during the trip here. Maybe there is a reason for that. Things, especially thoughts and words, come exactly when they are meant to. Forcing it doesn’t always work. The words and message come out choppy. Sometimes the thoughts won’t formulate. Sometimes the things you’re meant to say aren’t there yet because the experience or story to convey what you’re thinking haven’t happened yet. This is absolutely the case for this message.
During the trip over, I jotted some thoughts down (ones I thought were really important), and I let them percolate. I planted seeds for what I thought I wanted to say, and I let them grow.
Once at the festival, those thoughts then became much more clear. I jotted down more notes – both physically and mentally. I let them continue to form, to grow, and to eventually become what you’re reading now. And right now, as I type this, I’m not sure I’ve ever been more clear about the path I want to follow personally, professionally, and as an artist.
To get you all to where I’m going, let me take you on a very short trip down memory lane…
2016 – I wanted to be a fiber artist and start a business – a real business where I could support myself, make connections, and create. I applied and was accepted to the Montana Artrepeneur Program, MAP for short. It was a life changing experience for me. That program helped me develop a business name, why, and one of my favorite things – a tag line for my business. We also developed a vision, mission, artist statement, business plan, and more. Here is the business name, tag line, and mission I wrote almost 10 years ago.
Goldieknots Montana – Creating Connections One Fleece at a Time
“The mission of Goldieknots Montana is to teach people of today a lost heritage art of yesterday, while promoting the Montana wool and fiber industry and connecting people through fiber arts.”
The only thing I would change about that mission statement is to not just promote Montana wool and wool growers, although they are my foundation and I will continue to hold them all close to my heart (and hands), but also to promote all wool growers and producers.
For me, it was always going to be about the sheep, the people, the artists, sharing knowledge through teaching, but really, more than anything, about telling stories and creating connections between all of these components. Somewhere along the way I lost that and it became more about making money and less about what was important and my real why for starting this venture in the first place.
I’d become a person who was so busy, so on-the-go, that I didn’t have time to tell stories, or teach the way I wanted to, or a myriad of other things. It really got me to thinking. Last year at the end of my season I truly thought about packing it in, calling it a day, and moving on. I was simply just too tired, and my business and personal life were not what I had wanted them to be.
So one of two things needed to happen. I needed to quit – or I needed to get back to my why, my vision, and my mission. After many conversations, mostly with myself, and then with some trusted fiber art friends (I hope you know who you are and how much I love you), I decided on the latter – which is the real reason for this longer post.
Simply, these ladies asked me, “What do you want?” When I started listing those things, but then said things like “I can’t,” or “I don’t know how to make that happen,” they simply said something to the effect of. “Stop thinking about the how, and start thinking more about the what, and dream a little while you do it.”
For a couple of months I made lists, I contemplated, and I dreamed. I thought about what I wanted, and not just in my business. I thought about what I wanted in my personal life. I thought about all the things I was doing that I didn’t want to do anymore – which in turn helped me come up with a better list about the things I do want. It’s been a pretty remarkable experience.
My biggest takeaway from all of those thoughts, notes, contemplations was this… “Getting back to the basics” and the reasons why I wanted to have my own business.
So, I’ve been implementing some systems that are taking me backwards to those basics.
One of the reasons it took me so long to formulate all of this into words is this… I needed the time to begin creating connections again. My trip to, during, and going home from Michigan was the starting point for that. On my way to Michigan, I stopped and stayed with a dear friend who was pretty instrumental in my spinning journey. Then I visited the Nome Schoolhouse in North Dakota, and the person who used to process all of my wool for me at her mill. We hadn’t seen each other in almost nine years. It was like time never passed and I’m excited about the pretty cool plans coming from that one stop alone.
Then I stayed with fiber friends in Minnesota who I never would have met if it hadn’t been for a fiber festival in Montana. It felt like being part of a big family. Then the festival in Michigan itself, where I reconnected with students and vendors, and then people I’d never met who now feel like extended family. Connections.
I had return students, students who had their “aha” moments, hosted spinning / finer circles in the evenings, and helped in connecting people. Yes, that word again – connections.
On my way home I’m staying with different fiber friends in Iowa who I met at that same festival in Montana. I’m taking my time heading back and planning to do a little exploring and sightseeing along the way. Usually I’m on a gangbuster flyby to get home and convince myself I need to get to the next destination quickly – the reality is, I don’t. I’ll connect with people, including myself this trip.
This trip also solidified some decisions I needed to make in order to get back to the basics. What does that mean for me, my business, and you all reading this? It means you can expect more learning opportunities because I plan to be teaching more, which is the thing I truly love. It means less vending at events because it’s really hard to vend and teach. You can always find things online from me and I’ll still be at local holiday shows, I just don’t want to be stressed out all of the time. It means more writing (blog, books, ebooks, newsletters, and who knows what else), because writing is a huge passion, and it’s time to tell the stories of the sheep, fiber producers, and fiber artists. It means more “Fleece to Fashion” and educating people about wool, breeds of fiber animals, breeders, and creating beautiful things by hand with natural resources. It means more knitting design work especially for local yarn shops and fiber producers because it’s about making connections. And for me, it’s also about more spinning – which is my very favorite thing in the world.
I hope you’ll follow my journey a little backwards to move forward into what I’ve been dreaming this whole thing could be. I hope you’ll share your stories with me. I hope maybe this inspires you to take a step back, find what’s important in your lives and get back to you own basics – whatever those may look like to you – or take a step forward and start something you’ve always wanted to.
Until next time,
Happy spinning and all the fiber things!
~Tammy
Never Say Never
August 3, 2025
How does the old adage go, “Never say never?” Well, here’s a list of the fiber art “nevers” I said I would never tackle.
It began with knitting. You can ask my mom, who for years tried to convince me to knit. I blamed being left-handed and not being able to cast-on for my avoidance of the craft. Let’s just say that came from my painful crochet learning experience.
At any rate, I did eventually learn to knit. I moved to a place where I didn’t really know anyone and there was a yarn shop that was offering beginning knitting. Then I found another yarn shop with a wonderful knitting group where I learned, made friends, and continued to knit. Fast-forward about ten years, and now I’m designing knitting patterns (something else I said I would never do).
I was also never going to needle-felt, or wet-felt, because spinning is really where it was at for me. No, really. Spinning beautiful fiber into yarn is probably my most favorite thing to do. But, I began needle-felting, and then became a needle-felting kit designer and supplier. I was asked to teach some wet-felting classes, so I learned how to wet-felt – and while that’s still relatively new and I’m still learning – I’m having a blast doing it.
I was never going to spin art yarn. Lace yarn was what I liked to spin, mostly because lace knitting is what I truly enjoy knitting. I’ve also been asked to teach classes on art yarn, so, I decided I should learn. I’ve watched videos, taken a class or two on my own, done some reading, and ultimately decided to just play. Turns out I like to just play, and spinning thicker, animated yarns tends to go a little (okay, a LOT) quicker than the infinite miles of lace yarn I’m used to.
But my biggest “hard no” was that I was never going to weave. It wasn’t for me. I just knew it wasn’t for me. But, after watching some videos about lovely fiber being blended on a drum carder, then spun, then woven into beautiful scarves, I got curious. I have a drum carder, access to beautiful fiber, and as I mentioned above, I love to spin. What could it hurt to try to weave? I may also have an abundance of handspun yarn that I can’t knit fast enough, so maybe, just maybe weaving could help me out – but I wasn’t holding my breath.
So, I went all-in and bought a small Ashford Samplit Rigid Heddle Loom. If I didn’t like weaving (which I was still sure I wouldn’t), I could easily sell the loom. Then, something really cool happened… a friend sat down with me (you know who you are) and walked me through warping my little loom with my own handspun yarn. It wasn’t as rough of an experience as I thought it would be – it was actually kind of soothing and cool to watch my own yarn lined up on a loom. Then came the fun part… weaving with some pretty art yarn that I had blended and loosely corespun. The process went pretty quickly. To be honest, quicker than I had imagined. That same friend helped me cut (gulp) the long scarf off the loom when I was finished weaving and then tie the ends for some fringe.
Okay, so now I like weaving. But I think the most important things to take away from this whole never say never experience (or all of them) is that one, it’s important to keep learning, or even trying new things. Second, what this particular experience has taught me is that I’ve gotten away from the whole reason, the “why” I started my fiber art business. While I’ve learned lots of new things along the way, they have helped me to realize it’s time to take a step back. It’s time to re-evaluate things.
So while I’m saying goodbye to never say never, I’m saying hello to new things (like this blog I have wanted to write for the last several years), steps backward, steps forward, and getting back to some basics – which will be the topic of next week’s blog from the road to Michigan Fiber Festival. I hope you’ll continue coming back to see what everything is about – and I hope you’ll give some of your own “nevers” a chance – they may just lead you to exactly where you’re meant to be going.
~Tammy
P.S. Below are the photos of me and my first woven project just off the loom along with the handspun yarn and finished scarf.
exciting things are happening
The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of activity for me personally, as well as professionally! I can’t even begin to express my gratitude and containing my excitement is almost impossible.
Last year, at the Southeastern Animal Fiber Fair, (SAFF) I was lucky enough to meet Richard and Elizabeth Ashford of Ashford Wheels and Looms (celebrities in my world of all thing fiber). Elizabeth and I struck up a conversation in the Ashford booth. I was completely star-struck and she was so down-to-earth. I felt like we made a bit of a connection. I’m not sure if it was all my enthusiasm about the show, spinning, or if she saw something in me that I didn’t know existed, but, before I left that booth for the last time, she pulled me aside and asked if I would be interested in writing an article on lace spinning for Ashford’s “The Whee;” magazine. Of course, I agreed. Truth be told, I left that booth with shaky knees and an overwhelming sense of needing to cry – many tears of joy!
I write for our local newspaper, the Blackfoot Valley Dispatch, with a weekly column called “From my Perspective,” as well as community interest articles, and have had my poetry published in my younger days, but never had I written for a large publication like this. Nervous is an understatement! Elizabeth and the Ashford team were incredible to work with, every step of the way. And now, the magazine is finally here – and my article inside! I received it this week, along ih my samples I sent them of my completed work.
There is something pretty spectacular about seeing your writing, sinning, and knitting (three of my biggest passions) in such a beautifully designed publication! For the first 24-hours after receiving it, I’m not sure my feet actually touched the ground, and giddy is probably the best word I can use to describe how it felt to have it in my hands!
In addition to that extraordinary news, I also applied and was accepted to be a vendor in the November Wool & Fiber Arts Virtual Fiber Festival (https://www.facebook.com/groups/wafalive)
and their Christmas Wishbook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/wafawishbook/).
The Wool & Fiber Arts group on Facebook that was started by Ellen Zawada of Zephyr Creek Farm and has more than 10K members worldwide. The purpose of Wool and Fiber Arts group is to provide an online platform for fiber festival participants to build community. They spotlight teachers, designers, breed organizations, tool makers, mills, farms, and amazing fiber artists. Once a month, they host a large online LIVE sale. The heartfelt goal of this group is to build a positive, supportive, motivating, inclusive group where fiber artists feel safe to share their art. The support and interest in this group has been astounding.
I’m so honored and excited to be part of this incredibly talented and wonderful group! Again, I’m nervous though. I’ve never participated in anything like this before and technology scares the you-know-what out of me. But, just like the Ashford article, it’s helping me expand – as a person, as a business, and so much more!
Mark the date for my live vendor sale (Monday, 11/30/2020 at 6:30 p.m. MST). I’ll have lots of great items, perfect for holiday gift-giving! I hope you can watch and please feel free to share the event with your friends! For up-to-date information, please visit, like and share my facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/goldiekmotsmt.
Lastly, and also very exciting – my new web shop is now OPEN! I’m still adding items, but a lot is already there and I invite you to check it out. You can click on the “Shop Now” tab or follow the link here: https://goldieknotsmt.com/shop/. A HUGE thank you to my friend, Kate, for fine-tuning and fixing a few bugs! As I said, technology is not always my best friend, although we’re getting a little closer each day 🙂
Until next week, let’s keep all of the exciting things coming!
~Tammy
If you would like to subscribe to receive your own copy of The Wheel, please visit Ashford’s website at: https://www.ashford.co.nz/ashford-club/join-our-club
New Beginnings
As I was looking over my website, it occurred to me that it’s been a REALLY long time since I’ve posted any type of blog update. It was approximately two years ago (my how time flies and life happens) when I was spinning for Spinzilla and wrote the blog post about the healing wonders of wool and spinning yarn for my dad’s hat. It’s been a couple of years of ups… and downs… and ups again. Here are the highlights…
- We moved into my other half’s family cabin. A one bedroom, much smaller than I’m used to, home that needs a bit of work. I call it “our little cabin in the woods,” and we’re making progress.
- I began writing for our local newspaper, the Blackfoot Valley Dispatch. In all honesty, it’s probably one of the biggest reasons I’ve been so lax on this blog… because when you (meaning me) write a column, along with one to three additional articles for deadline each week, you (again meaning me) have very little energy to write one more thing. Realizing this, I’ve decided to only write my column for the paper, called “From my Perspective” and taking a break from writing articles so that I’m able to focus more attention on my fiber arts business, including this blog.
- In addition to writing for the paper, I also began teaching more classes at fiber festivals. This has been a dream of mine for a long time and I’m so grateful for it to have come true! In 2019, I taught at the Grazing Hills Fiber Festival in Idaho (www.ghsfiberfest.com), the Copper K Fiber Festival (www.copperkfiberfestival.com), Fiberfest Eureka (www.eurekafiberfest.org), and the Prairie Handspinners Fiber Festival (www.prairiehandspinnersfiberfest.com), all in Montana, and at the Southeastern Animal Fiber Fair, a.k.a SAFF, in North Carolina (www.saffsite.org). In 2020, I was scheduled to teach at 11 festivals, including the ones above, as well as the Montana Association of Weavers & Spinners (www.montanaweavespin.org), Estes Park Wool Market in Colorado (www.estesparkeventscomplex.com/wool-market.html), Trailing of the Sheep in Idaho (www.trailingofthesheep.org), and my first-ever week-long Fleece to Fashion class at our new local folk arts school. Then, COVID happened and every festival, except two, cancelled and I found myself waiting tables to make ends meet. The sheep and I still need to eat J.
- I met Richard and Elizabeth Ashford of Ashford Wheels & Looms (www.ashford.co.nz) and collaborated with them on a project for their upcoming issue of their “The Wheel” magazine (due to release next month). I’ll share more about this in a separate blog post, so stay tuned!
- I gained and lot a few sheep in the flock, so in the upcoming weeks there will be updates to the “Meet the Sheep” page of the website, so make sure to check back.
- I’ve gone through, and am still going through a lot of emotions pertaining to my dad’s passing, and while I miss him more than words could ever explain, I feel a little bit stronger every day.
- I’m still moderating the 52 Weeks of Sheep” Facebook group, along with fellow sheep and spinning enthusiast friend, Marilyn. The premise of the group (now in its 4th year), is to learn about and spin a different breed of sheep/fiber each week. We’re getting ready to start planning for 2021. Here’s the link to the group in case you want to check it out for yourself. (www.facebook.com/52weeksofsheep)
- Spin Together is the new version of Spinzilla, run by totally different people. Goldieknots Montana sponsored a team last year and we were lucky enough to have Heaven Branco who spun 4,028 yards on her drop spindle and won the drop spindle category. I’m heading a team again this year and I’m happy to report we have a full team of 25. The competition begins Saturday, October 3rd.
There have been many more things that have happened over the last couple of years but those are the highlights. I look forward to getting back to the blog and getting to know more of you better. Plan to see a new blog each week highlighting new things fiber-related, sneak-peeks into the behind the scenes at Goldieknots, and sometimes into personal updates, a heads-up on upcoming classes, anecdotes about the sheep, and more. I hope you’ll join me each week!
Hugs, and Happy Fibering!
Tammy